How to Fall for the Wrong Man (Ladies of Passion) Read online

  Edwin shook his head. “I have never in my life thought that I was better than you. You’ve always been…” He hesitated over the word before finishing, “important to me.”

  How important? My heart beat quicker.

  “So important that you couldn’t last a year or two without female company?” I cringed as the words accusation slipped out. I had no right to judge him for taking a lover when I’d taken several of my own. This hot, jealous feeling had no place in my life.

  His mouth dropped open and his throat worked, but for a moment I’d rendered him speechless. With a wordless, frustrated sound, he jabbed his fingers through his thick hair, mussing it. “Before…” He didn’t finish the sentence, but with the heated sweep of his gaze over my body, he roused the memory of our passion. “…now, you’ve never given me any indication that you wanted…me. Hell and damnation, you insisted on a bloody no-kiss rule!”

  I clenched my fists and swallowed hard. “Well, maybe back then I wished I’d taken it back.” I love you. I had then and, Heaven help me, but I feared I’d fallen for him again. Uncertain, I bit my tongue as I met his gaze.

  He kissed me. Far from gentle, the urgency of his lips and tongue started a conflagration. Did this mean he’d felt the same way all along, that he loved me too? I tilted my head back on a gasp as he kissed his way along my chin to my neck. As soon as I caught my breath, I’d tell him…

  He broke away and ravished my mouth again, making me burn. His hands dropped to my behind, lifting me to press against his engorged manhood. This wasn’t love—this was lust. Delicious, toe-curling lust, but it was not at all the same. Even knowing that, I wrapped my hands around his biceps and kissed him back with every bit as much passion. If I stopped, I’d be alone again. I wasn’t ready for him to leave.

  Tap, tap, tap.

  What was that? I didn’t much care. I twined my arms around Edwin’s neck as I arched against him.

  The noise grew louder. Edwin broke away, the color rising in his cheeks as he dropped his hands. I still leaned against him as a maid turned the corner. She hid her smirk behind the curtain of her hair as she curtsied to us and continued on her way.

  What were we thinking? It was the middle of the day, and we weren’t in the relative privacy of his house. This was Old Lady Gladstone’s house.

  Edwin cleared his throat. He licked his lips. I burned at the slow slide of his tongue. He seemed to notice my reaction, because the corner of his mouth lifted, and his eyes danced with heat.

  “How is your leg?”

  I’d forgotten for a moment that I’d injured myself at his house this morning. “It’s only a scratch. I barely even feel it.”

  To my surprise, he nodded, accepting my answer rather than pushing the matter. He found my hand and laced our fingers together, his touch warm.

  “Will you stay with me tonight?”

  The thought of spending the night with him was much more palatable than lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling. I nearly agreed on the spot but recalled the way Puck followed me around like my shadow. Last time, I hadn’t been thinking, but I didn’t want to disappoint him by not coming home.

  “I don’t want to leave Puck alone.”

  Edwin shook his head with a wry smile. “Very well. We’ll stop to fetch him on the way—but he’s sleeping on the floor.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I should have known better than to believe we’d be granted a quiet afternoon together. The moment we stepped into Edwin’s townhouse, Puck spotted Patches peeking his head out of the kitchen door and ripped the leash from my hand as he galloped down the hall in chase of the kitten. I cringed as clangs and yelps echoed from the kitchen.

  Nancy exiled the dog to the yard.

  After herding us into the front parlor, she pressed teacups into our hands and set a plate of seedcake in front of us on the table. Then she left us utterly alone, side by side on the settee.

  Growing up, Edwin’s and my friendship had always been easy. He was quiet to my outspoken, cautious to my brazen. He shared the things he learned from his tutors—most of them boring—and once in a while, I teased out that rare treasure of a smile.

  Now that we were adults, with a passion and awareness that simmered between us, friendship suddenly didn’t seem so easy. Should I have agreed to stay the night with him after all? He lusted for me rather than loved me, and the knowledge of that weighed heavy around my shoulders. I didn’t know what to say to him.

  Edwin slipped his hand into mine, threading our fingers together. “You’re thinking.”

  I mustered a thin smile. “Is it so obvious?”

  Despite the worries still whirling around my head, the press of his skin against mine soothed me. I fought the desire to lean closer.

  He had no qualms about closing the distance between us. He ran his thumb over my forehead, between my eyebrows. “When you’re considering a problem, you get a little wrinkle right there. Is it the wedding? I told you, you needn’t worry over it. This will be over long before Aunt Louise arranges a date.”

  It’s for the better. This insanity between us couldn’t last.

  “So you say, but I was fitted for a wedding dress today, and a frankly unflattering one.”

  He laughed. “You looked darling.”

  I glared at him.

  “Very well, a bit like a doll dressed in someone else’s clothes, but I wouldn’t call it unflattering.”

  “It had flounces.” My voice was flat, unlike the line of my wedding dress.

  “Aunt Louise wouldn’t dress you in something unfashionable.”

  “And ruffles.”

  He frowned. “Aren’t they the same thing?”

  “I’ll find a third word for them if it pleases me. It was horrid!”

  He laughed. “Worse things could happen to you than a feminine wedding dress.”

  “Name them.”

  He cupped my chin. “I’d rather distract you from them instead.”

  The moment his mouth brushed mine, I forgot my misgivings about the wedding dress. I leaned into him, threading the fingers of my free hand through his thick hair as I surrendered to the moment. He continued to claim my other hand, holding me as if he never intended to let me go. For the moment, I let myself pretend that was precisely what he wanted. More time with me, the same as I craved from him.

  As he leaned me back against the settee, I went with him gladly. I dropped my hand to his broad shoulders, clutching him to me as he started to kiss his way down my neck. He paused to pay special attention to the hollow beneath my ear. As my toes curled, I moaned, arching into him.

  A man yelped from the doorway, sounding like a wounded dog.

  “Shut the door if you want privacy!”

  Edwin lifted his head, glaring. “Isaac!”

  The butler shrugged. He glanced at us, entangled on the settee, then opted to study the ceiling. “You have visitors,” he mumbled.

  Edwin sat up, frowning. “Who?”

  Without his warmth, I shivered. I adjusted my bodice one-handedly. At some point, Edwin had pulled it askew.

  “Perhaps I should leave.”

  He tightened his hand on mine. “Don’t. Please. I’ll sort this out quickly.”

  “It will only take a moment,” Annabel said as she peeked around Isaac’s tall form.

  The corners of her lips tipped up in a sly expression as she espied us. Edwin’s hair stuck up from where I’d run my fingers through it. No doubt I looked just as bedraggled.

  She added, “Though if you’d rather be alone, we can come back in an hour or two.”

  We?

  The mystery was solved a moment later as Winifred wedged her way into the room. She nudged Annabel with her elbow and winked. “Aren’t they supposed to wait for the wedding for that sort of rowdiness?”

  Annabel snorted. “As if you waited.”

  Winifred’s eyes widened with innocence. Coupled with the lock of blond hair dripping onto her forehead, she looked almost cherubic. �
�He was stung by one of my bees. It was my duty to kiss it better.”

  “If I am stung, will you kiss me better?”

  Winifred winked. “That depends on where you’re stung.”

  “Ladies,” Edwin interrupted, clearing his throat and standing. “How can I help you?”

  Donning a businesslike air, Annabel hoisted a rolled-up parchment nearly two feet long. “I brought the plans for the greenhouse expansion over. I know you haven’t signed the contract yet, solidifying the deal, but if we’re to make the changes before winter sets in, we need to order the materials. How do you feel about this layout?”

  Mr. Craven had sent his wife on a business errand? That was…remarkably progressive of him.

  As Annabel unrolled the parchment on the table, pointing to a section of the proposed greenhouse addition while Edwin bent to examine it, Winifred squeezed around the pair and sat next to me. She helped herself to Edwin’s teacup and sipped.

  Making a wretched face, she replaced the cup on the table. “That’s horrid! Who doesn’t put sugar in their tea?”

  Smirking, I pointed to Edwin and offered Winifred my cup.

  “You’re mad,” she informed him before she sipped.

  Although the tea was certainly lukewarm by now, she didn’t appear to mind.

  “Shall I fetch another pot?” Isaac asked from the doorway.

  Without looking at him, Annabel waved him off. “No need. We won’t be here long.”

  “How is the cake?” Winifred asked.

  “I haven’t tried it, but everything Nancy cooks is divine.”

  Winifred helped herself to the cake while she waited for the pair to finish looking over the plans. I claimed the second slice. As promised, it tasted heavenly.

  After asking for a slight change, Edwin straightened. Thanked Annabel for visiting, raising one eyebrow pointedly.

  She giggled. “We’ll leave you two to your privacy. See you soon at your engagement party.”

  The cake turned into a heavy lump in my stomach. I replaced the rest on the plate and dusted off my hands.

  The moment the two women retreated from the sitting room, Edwin shut the door. He beckoned me closer. “Come, let’s finish what we started.”

  I had no qualms about losing myself in his arms once again. As he closed his strong arms around me, I tipped my head back with a sigh. He barely touched his lips to mine before a knock at the door interrupted the moment.

  With a noise between a grumble and a sigh, Edwin turned to open the door. “You instructed me to close the door if I wanted privacy. I want privacy.”

  Isaac thrust a letter into Edwin’s hand. “I know what I said, but the messenger insists on waiting for an answer. It’s from your brother.”

  “Your brother?” I frowned. “I thought you weren’t close.”

  Edwin’s older brother, now the earl, was something of a degenerate—at least, he had been when Edwin and I had been friends. No thought of responsibility or consequence, his brother had cut a swathe through the disreputable women of London before and after his marriage. Considering Edwin and his brother were as different as night and day, I hadn’t thought them on speaking terms.

  “We aren’t,” Edwin confirmed. He heaved a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. “However, I consult for my brother from time to time on our ancestral estate. It’s better for his tenants this way.” Leaning down, he dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “I’ll make this as quick as can be, I promise.”

  “He should hire a steward,” I muttered under my breath as Edwin crossed to the writing desk in the corner of the room to read the letter and crosshatch his reply.

  For a botanist, Edwin was a busier man than I’d expected. If I had had a cause to pursue—or a shelter to run—I might not have felt his absence so acutely. By the time he finished with the letter to his brother, someone else had arrived to claim his attention on some trivial matter, and another person after that. Each time, he cast me an apologetic look as he handled the matter. When the stolen kisses between visitors started to wear on me, I escaped into the fenced-in back yard to play with Puck instead.

  Was this how most wives of the ton felt, cast aside? Edwin hadn’t invited me to help with his business—not that I knew the first thing about plants, which one visitor had brought to Edwin because of its apparently flagging health. However, I couldn’t help but feel a bit useless. I wasn’t accustomed to the feeling. Usually, I was the person sought out to fix problems. However, Edwin was courteous to his servants and Nancy handled any issues which arose, so there was nothing here for me to do.

  “There you are.”

  I glanced toward the kitchen door, my fingers buried in Puck’s fur. Edwin stood with his arms held loosely at his sides.

  “I didn’t realize you usually led such a busy life.”

  Edwin pulled a face. “I don’t. Most of my days are shut in with my plants. The world seems to be conspiring to keep me busy today.”

  Turn them away. I couldn’t speak for everyone who had arrived—perhaps his brother’s letter, for instance, genuinely needed tending at that moment—but a plant wouldn’t get better instantly with Edwin’s care. Not to mention, there must be hundreds if not thousands of gardeners who could apprise the situation, regardless if the species of plant happened to be rare or not. It seemed selfish to ask him to stop his life simply because I was bored. After all, on a normal day, I would have myriad emergencies of my own to which to attend.

  Then again, it had been selfish of Edwin to ask me to put my matters on hold for the duration of our engagement, too. Perhaps I had a right to be selfish if I wanted his attention for the afternoon.

  Since he had sought me out, I held out some hope that he felt the same. Even so, I stood as he approached, tilting my face up to meet his. “If your afternoon is too busy, I can go home.”

  He caught my hand in his, again threading his fingers through mine as if we belonged together, joined in this way. He examined our intertwined fingers, holding our hands between us. “Please don’t. I want you to stay.”

  I gathered my courage to ask him to instruct Isaac to inform that he was not at home for the duration of the day, but as I opened my lips, my breath gushed out instead. If he had asked something like that of me, I often wouldn’t be able to comply. Not only that, but it would irritate me that he didn’t understand that I had a life outside him. He had a life outside of me. That shouldn’t surprise me.

  He cupped my cheek, leaning down to steal another kiss. The contact was brief. When he lifted his head, he said, “The rest of the afternoon is yours, I promise.”

  I glanced up at the sky. The sun hadn’t yet begun to set, but it would in an hour or two.

  “Take tea with me?” Edwin asked.

  I nodded. I detangled from him to pat Puck on the head. “I have to go in now, boy. I’ll see about convincing Nancy to let you back in.” Perhaps if we hid Patches for the duration, he wouldn’t chase the cat and therefore be banished out into the garden again.

  Claiming my hand, Edwin led me into the house once more. The kitchen staff paused in their work until a stern word from Nancy convinced them to ignore their lord’s presence. As Edwin steered me through the humid, fragrant room—was Nancy baking again?—he said, “Mary and I will be taking tea shortly. Is anything ready for us?”

  Nancy wiped her hands on her apron. “Give us thirty minutes, and we’ll bring up something special.”

  Something special? I craned my neck, trying to discern what surprises they had in store for tea time, but Edwin toed me out of the room.

  “You’d best make it an hour, then.”

  When we reached the corridor, he paused to sweep me into his arms. As the world tilted sideways, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He loped toward the front of the house and the staircase there, calling to Isaac. “If you disturb me, the house had better be on fire.” He paused at the foot of the stairs to add, “And I’d prefer you didn’t light the house on fire.”

  I hearti
ly hoped Isaac had never taken him so literally.

  As Edwin started to mount the stairs, I protested, “I can walk.”

  “You can,” he agreed. “But you’re much easier to kiss this way.” He proved as much by leaning down, lingering on my mouth as he continued to climb the steps. At the top, his foot caught, and he stumbled a pace before he righted himself.

  I held him tighter. Breathless, I chided, “This must be why everyone doesn’t walk around in this manner.”

  Laughing, he leaned down to capture my lips again. The sweet, light kiss quickly grew urgent. He strode swiftly to his bedchamber and kicked the door shut behind him. It rattled in its frame as it shut. I broke the kiss, glancing to the door as the echoes of the noise rippled through the air.

  “Was that necessary?”

  “Entirely. I finally have you all to myself.”

  He set me down on the bed, kneeling at my feet as he bent to remove my slippers.

  “We have tea in thirty minutes,” I protested.

  He ran his palms over my ankles and calves, moving up and taking my dress higher as he went. His eyes were dark with desire to match the husky edge to his voice as he murmured, “I’m not hungry anymore. Are you?”

  Biting my lip, I shook my head.

  “Then it can wait.”

  He leaned forward as his hands migrated up the outer edges of my legs. He searched out the tops of my stockings. My thighs quivered as he slowly traced the edge, searching for the ribbon to untie them. When he found it, he painstakingly pulled it free.

  “This is going to take longer than thirty minutes.” I meant the comment to be joking, but my voice sounded full of anticipation instead.

  When he smiled, my stomach flipped. A more handsome man I’d never found, especially when that smile was only for me. I leaned down, cupping his cheeks as I kissed him. Finally, I have you all to myself. I shared the sentiment. In fact, I surrendered to it. For now, he was mine and only mine.